Something Cute

I finally succeeded in drawing something cute instead of angry/sad/tired. It was a sketch I did in about an hour in bed. I think my outline of the drawing turned out better than the final inking, but eh what can you do. Good start to a new style, and glad to break through and draw something happy for once.
Chinese girl with green eyes, skull hair pin and red shirt with the characters zisha on it.

Levels of Anger

I was supposed to draw something cute, instead I drew something angry. I suppose anger is a step up from drawing pain and soullessness, but not as big of a step as I’d hoped for.

I came up with this idea while hiking (and getting passed). I figured this extreme competitiveness is the same reason I get so upset about DotA games. I’m kind of disappointed in the execution. I think my previous piece looked better and that this is a regression. That said, the blue guy’s hand is pretty good so at least there’s that.

Amy's 4 levels of anger

I Am A Strange Loop Confederate

My friend forwarded me a blag post where someone made a list of similar complaints about Douglas Hofstader’s book Gödel, Escher, Bach as I did about I Am A Strange Loop. I feel some what vindicated, and slightly less alone knowing I’m not the only one that was left less than impressed.

Also, their post is clearly better than mine so ignore that part.

Dual-Gender Macrochimerism Microupdate

In a recent post I mentioned that males raised as women from birth (complete with GRS, HRT) transition back to male at a rate several orders of magnitude above the general population rate of transition.

A friend reminded me of a similar case we learned about in AP Psychology. The tragic case of David Reimer. David had a botched circumcision that led to a sex reassignment surgery. His parents took him to see popular psychologist, John Money who believed that babies are born gender neutral and gendered behaviors are socially conditioned. They feared that their son could not lead a satisfactory male life without a penis and intended to seek his counsel about raising him as a girl.

Money convinced the parents and surgical team at John Hopkins that David would be better off if raised as a girl. As it happened, David had a twin brother and so this would be an excellent test of Money’s theory. David also had developmentally typical anatomy, unlike most of the ambiguous genitals that lead to ablations in previous studies that could confound the results.

The entire ordeal reads like a trans person’s worst nightmare. Your parents, your psychologist, your physician are all telling you that you’re supposed to be a girl. Putting you through bizarre and degrading scenarios in an effort to convince you to get additional GRS and continue HRT. The entire time you feel like you must be the crazy one, yet you’re also pretty sure you don’t want to feminize further and don’t understand why everyone is so interested that you do.

David expressed it best:

Doctor … said, it’s gonna be tough, you’re going to be picked on, you’re gonna be very alone, you’re not gonna find anybody unless you have vaginal surgery and live as a female. And I thought to myself, you know I wasn’t very old at the time but it dawned on me that these people gotta be pretty shallow if that’s the only thing they think I’ve got going for me; that the only reason why people get married and have children and have a productive life is because of what they have between their legs.

If that’s all they think of me, that they justify my worth by what I have between my legs, then I gotta be a complete loser.

I’d like to note that this case is similar to the other ones mentioned in that resistance to their assigned gender identity increased as puberty approached and progressed. It’s also a half point for chromosomal organization of gender identity, instead of hormonal because it doesn’t rule out the effect of prenatal hormonal exposure.